Archive for February, 2009

Dental Retardation

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Although I know it is not nice to make light of different handicaps, when kids get there first tooth late I refer to them as dentally retarded.  Yeah, the joke is funny the first time but most people get tired of it quickly – same as most of my jokes.

Turns out that dental retardation is a good thing.  Take the case of Sagula, a young Indian who the local villagers though was in dire danger of being attacked by wild animals.  And why did the villagers think poor Sagula was at risk?  Because the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum and the people of the Munda tribe see such a growth in young children as a bad omen and believe it makes them prone to attacks by tigers and other animals.  Ever wonder why India didn’t have an empire?

So what do the local tribesmen do to protect poor Sagula?  Offer him protection?  Nope.  Give him a can of pepper spray?  Nope.  MARRY HIM TO HIS NEIGHBOUR’S DOG??? Yep!  Makes you kind of wonder why there are soooo many of them.  If animal marriage is a protection, you would expect fewer babies, or maybe more {en: Concepts in the Wheel of Time series|trollocs}.

“We performed the marriage because it will overcome any curse that might fall on the child as well on us,” the boy’s father, Sanarumala Munda, was quoted as saying by a local newspaper.  Okay… where was the mother?  Can we say parent of the year here?  C’mon guys, face it.  Keep this story bookmarked, and no matter what you do you can never be this big of a goof.  “Listen Honey, I am sorry the kids had cake for every meal while you were away, but at least I didn’t make them marry local pets like Sanarumy did!”

Now before someone starts complaining that I am being culturally insensitive, too freaking bad!  Just because it is part of someone’s culture does not make it OK.  So making your child marry a local dog – regardless of the reason and/or the God’s you are trying to appease is fucked up.

Timmy out.

What’s New at ReallyStupidSite.com

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

dumbass_f_200Well, there have been a few changes at www.reallystupidsite.com over the last week. One of the changes is that we now have an official mascot. Please welcome Dumb, he’s an ass.  Of course, that makes him the www.reallystupidsite.com Dumb Ass.  I wanted to make the site a bit more homey, so I figured every good home need a pet, and now the Stupid Heads have Dumb.  I hope that you like him.

Another newness at RSS.com is the addition of the Friends of Stupidity wall.  This is where we give reverence to those that help fund the stupidity – and provide a place for them to advertise their own web sites, as Stupid Heads should help support other Stupid Heads.  If you achieve the excellence level of Silver Stupid Head or higher we at ReallyStupidSite.com will allow you to advertise your site right on the FoS Wall.

We are looking at ways of improving your ability to contribute to the site, and will soon be implementing a suggestion box.  After all, this site is here for you, the Stupid Head, so your feedback will help make it a better site.

Stupidity of Presidential Excess or Bad Bad Obama

Friday, February 20th, 2009

This is the second time I am writing this post.  The first time it disappeared after I saved it *poof* *bye bye*  Hmmmm…. makes you think.

So the head of the United States of America would have us think that if a company gets TARP money then the C-level executives and senior management should not be able to use corporate jets because that is a waste of tax payer money.  But c’mon, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle African American?  He is more of a hypocrit than Harper-crite (Yeah Richard, that one is for you).  How can a man with {en:Air Force One}, {en:Cadillac One}, {en:Marine One}, {en:Navy One}, and not to mention {en:Airforce Two} accuse the corporate leaders?  Who does he think is paying for all of this?  The tooth fairy?

Let’s look at the economics of it.  The cost of BO is $400k per year.  The salary of the average bank executive is 10-times this with out the TARP cap, and still significantly higher than Obamamama’s $500k cap.  So each hour that a bailed out executive saves by using a business jet saves money for the US Taxpayers.  Baracky is the one who should be flying through O’Hare since he doesn’t earn enough to fiscally justify the use of a business jet.  Trust me, the DOC’s of operating the President’s planes are much higher than your average Cessna, Gulfstream, or Bombardier plane.

As far as security goes, the average executive also travels with a security detail – just less conspicuous.  No, they didn’t just film Men In Black 4 – Northern Invasion – There was BO in Ottawa.

Who are the Stupid Heads

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

Well, the vote so far is overwhelmingly in favour of Stupid Heads for the readers of www.reallystupidsite.com.  Stupid Head is 50% ahead of its closest competitor, so I think I will stick with it.  HOORAY FOR STUPID HEADS!

When I first started this blog I was really in a state of, “if someone blogs in the forest and nobody reads it does it take up any bandwidth?”  I wasn’t really expecting anyone to read it, although I was kind of hopeful that maybe someone would.  Well it seems that there are quite a few visitors.  Since its inception, www.reallystupidsite.com has had over 2600 page visits, with 1300 of them in February alone.  I know that this isn’t really significant traffic for a website, but when you think about the content I’m pretty impressed.

Before I have discuss the qualities of the average Stupid Head I was driven by the question, “how the fnck did they get here???”  OK, I know I whore out my status line on Facebook every time I write a new post.  According to google analytics, only 26% of visits originate from a Facebook referral.  So where the hell do the rest of them come from?  About 1/3 of visitors are referred from other sites, or sent the link in an email.  The rest?   They come from search engines.

Some of you people are twisted.  I thought I was twisted, but here are some of the search terms that got people directed to this site:

  1. custard down his pants
  2. really stupid shit
  3. sam burt apple bus driver
  4. socioeconomic experiment
  5. stupid site about jesus
  6. suck out your own adipose tissue
  7. virgin scarific (sic)

OK Let take a look at these seven search terms

  1. What the hell were you thinking and what did your expect to find?  “Custard down his pants”?  OK – you are really really strange and you should seek help.  I would recommend making donations to this site and praying that the flying spaghetti monster saves you.
  2. Strange but reasonable.
  3. WTF?  Are you people taking your medication as prescribed?
  4. What bothers me here is not that someone did a search on “socioeconomic experiment” but that they got this site as one of the results.
  5. Why someone is looking for a stupid site about a Mexican boy…. (see the December 20th, 2008 entry if you need more info on this reference)
  6. OK people.  Hipposuction is a dangerous medical procedure NOT TO BE ATTEMPTED AT HOME.  I don’t give a rat’s ass if you are trying to save money on fuel, home liposuction is a no no.
  7. I find this one the most comment worthy.  First of all the fact that people are doing searches on virgin sacrifice is a wee bit odd (parents:  lock up your daughters).  The ironic part is that sacrifice was misspelled scarifice which gave them the hit on www.reallystupidsite.com  (Yes Dom, I know, my spelling sucks).  Oh well, you get what you pay for.

And now onto analyzing the average Stupid Head?  Most of you are using Windows XP (which was refreshing since I am using Vista at least I know that I am not skewing traffic myself).  Second and third place are held by Windows Vista and 2000.  What I found quite incredible was that the iPhone operating system was in fourth place (which I am convinced is due to my Greek cigar smoking buddy).  Hell, the BlackBerry OS ranked up there quite high.

About 75% of you are using internet explorer 6, 7, or 8, 25% are using Firefox, and the balance are using a variety of browsers, some I have never heard of (SeaMonkey).  The really interesting thing is that only 1 visitor used Netscape.

At this point you should be wondering what other information do I have about you?  A lot.  Trust me.  The one thing that web surfing isn’t is anonymous.

Have fun and be good.

Timmy out.

Stupidity of New Math

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

There is not much more I can add to this post…