Archive for May, 2009

The Stupidity of Brown-Nosing

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

This rant is the product of several articles I have recently read in a variety of business magazines and web sites.  Fortunately, I can actually claim that I have not personally witnessed the behaviour, but I thought that it was worth throwing out for discussion as you Stupid Heads so like commenting on my posts.

Along with tough economic times comes the reality faced by many employers – down-sizing.  (Ed note:  I hate the term “right-sizing” as it implies that the organization was wrongly-sized.  If it was wrongly-sized in the first place then fire management, they obviously don’t know what to do).  Fortunately or unfortunately, we generally know about workforce reductions prior to their occurrence, although we do not know exactly who will fall victim to HR’s (Human Remains) axe.

So what do we do when we are faced with the possibility – try to protect our jobs.  One common way of doing this is to ingratiate ourselves to our bosses, also known as brown-nosing.  In case you are wondering, the term brown-nosing comes from the image of an obsequious person whose nose becomes soiled in kissing the rump of someone from whom favour is sought.

So why is this stupid?  Because it is bad for business.  Period.  A [University of Texas] study found that brown-nosing can influence a company to its highest levels, including the awarding of positions on various corporate boards.

Lose at golf to get a promotion?  OK.  Be a “yes-man” at work for advancement?  Good for you but bad for the company.  People will do it, but companies must break this type of behaviour.  Last thing you need is a member of management having stupid ideas supported solely for the reason of job protection.

Remember, the stupid idea you support may ultimately cost you your job as the company folds because you supported the idea that investing in the recycled toilet paper company.

Timmy out.

Exerpts from overheardintheoffice.com #3

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

I get a good laugh from the folks over at www.overheardintheoffice.com who send out a weekly digest. The premise of the site is that people send in things that they heard in the office. Most of these comments are very good, especially when taken out of context.

In Addition to the One Labeled “Important Fire Safety Instructions”

Manager: What time is my meeting with you?
Employee: I don’t know. I got your e-mail, but didn’t know you were talking about, so I deleted it.

Broadway & Walker
New York City
Overheard by: office peon hates meetings

It Is Now

Office mate #1: My brother’s girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother’s girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?

Santa Monica, California

Like George Michael, the Company Wants All Your Secs

VP: Hey, can you pop in here to chat yet?
Accounting asst: Give me just a sec…
VP: How about now? It’s urgent, and I’ve been giving you secs all morning.
Passing by office manager: So much for last week’s sexual harassment training…

Washington, DC
Overheard by: I could use some…

And Should I Be Sitting in Front Of a Computer for This?

Tech support rep: Okay, so go ahead and type in the url in the address bar.
Customer: Okay, uh, um, should I be on the internet?
Tech support rep: Yes.
Customer: Okay. Um. Okay. So uh, should I google “internet”?

Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves three way calling and the mute button

The “Enter” Key’s Somewhere Near the Middle Of Your Keyboard, Sir

Tech on phone: Please click start, type “cmd” and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type “cmd” and press the enter key. Typing “cmdandpressenter” will not work. Sorry I wasn’t more clear.

Dodge St., Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: northern lad

Hookers are People Too

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

As the continued world economic crisis lingers, we need to note that it is not just the billion dollar bankers that are hit by the “hardships” of the economic downturn.

The downturn has caused some industries to look to new marketing channels that they had not necessarily considered previously.

One of the newly touched industries is the German sex trade.  According to Reuters, “In one of the few countries where prostitution is legal, and unusually transparent, the industry has responded with an economic stimulus package of its own: modern marketing tools, rebates and gimmicks to boost falling demand.

Some brothels have cut prices or added free promotions while others have introduced all-inclusive flat-rate fees. Free shuttle buses, discounts for seniors and taxi drivers, as well as “day passes” are among marketing strategies designed to keep business going.”

Berlin’s “Pussy Club” has attracted media attention with its headline-grabbing “flat rate” — a 70-euro admission charge for unlimited food, drink and sex between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

And I thought all you can eat sushi was good…

When Someone Steals your Kodak Moment

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Nice pictures ruined at just the right moment…

The Stupidity of Stupidity

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I realize that economic times are tough around the world, and as such, people everywhere are clamouring to make more with less.  They want to find their pot o’ gold and will follow any rainbow to get to it.

At the same time, we know that the higher the potential return the more people are willing to risk.  As the aversion to risk goes down, the number of scams surfacing goes up.  This is called the Risk Aversion TheorieS – Ascension of Scams, or RATS ASS.

The problem with RATS ASS is that is works.  Ever wonder why you keep on getting email from the Director of Operations of Hang Seng bank, wanting to do business in your country but needing help getting 5,000,000 United States of America dollars into your country?  Why the widow of some benevolent African (normally Nigerian) aristocrat has turned to you for help in getting money into a Swiss bank account?  Because people answer.  They send their vital information, ending up with bank accounts cleared out of what little savings they had; you have a proliferation of the RATS ASS principle.

But that is email and internet; you won’t find RATS ASS as prevalent in real life will you?  Until you find out that Saudi police are looking for the people that started the rumour that old sewing machines contain [en: red mercury].    According to the Saudi Gazette some buyers were willing to pay up to 50k$ for an old Singer sewing machine proven to contain [en: red mercury].

Here is the best part … the proof for the existence of [en: red mercury].  Cell phones are employed as instruments to prove the existence of the phoney substance.  When you bring the cell phone’s antenna near the needle of the sewing machine the signal supposedly cuts out, proving the existence of the red mercury.

And for what would you use red mercury?  Well, depending on the legend you wish to follow – either for converting base metals into gold, or for creating thermonuclear devices.

What freaks me out is that someone with the ability to generate 50k$ in liquidity was dumb enough to fall for the scam…

Timmy out.