Posts Tagged ‘Overheard in the Office’

Exerpts from overheardintheoffice.com #3

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

I get a good laugh from the folks over at www.overheardintheoffice.com who send out a weekly digest. The premise of the site is that people send in things that they heard in the office. Most of these comments are very good, especially when taken out of context.

In Addition to the One Labeled “Important Fire Safety Instructions”

Manager: What time is my meeting with you?
Employee: I don’t know. I got your e-mail, but didn’t know you were talking about, so I deleted it.

Broadway & Walker
New York City
Overheard by: office peon hates meetings

It Is Now

Office mate #1: My brother’s girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother’s girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?

Santa Monica, California

Like George Michael, the Company Wants All Your Secs

VP: Hey, can you pop in here to chat yet?
Accounting asst: Give me just a sec…
VP: How about now? It’s urgent, and I’ve been giving you secs all morning.
Passing by office manager: So much for last week’s sexual harassment training…

Washington, DC
Overheard by: I could use some…

And Should I Be Sitting in Front Of a Computer for This?

Tech support rep: Okay, so go ahead and type in the url in the address bar.
Customer: Okay, uh, um, should I be on the internet?
Tech support rep: Yes.
Customer: Okay. Um. Okay. So uh, should I google “internet”?

Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves three way calling and the mute button

The “Enter” Key’s Somewhere Near the Middle Of Your Keyboard, Sir

Tech on phone: Please click start, type “cmd” and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type “cmd” and press the enter key. Typing “cmdandpressenter” will not work. Sorry I wasn’t more clear.

Dodge St., Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: northern lad

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Exerpts from overheardintheoffice.com

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I get a good laugh from the folks over at www.overheardintheoffice.com who send out a weekly digest. The premise of the site is that people send in things that they heard in the office. Most of these comments are very good, especially when taken out of context.

You Say That Every Day.

Assistant: Did you know that dogs get breast cancer?
Supervisor: What?
Assistant: I used to work at a vet office, and they would bring in dogs with breast cancer!
Supervisor, after googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
Assistant: Oh, really?! I made that up!
Supervisor: I’m done with you.

New York City, New York
Overheard by: Digitdy

Be Sure to Fill Out a Freudian Slip First

Boss: What are you going to do on your lunch break?
Assistant: I think I might go outside and spread my legs.
Boss: Pardon?
Assistant: I said I think I might go outside and stretch my legs. (walks off very quickly)

North Ryde Australia
Overheard by: Sinead

Like the Difference Between Methodists and Baptists

IT minion, about boss: He started talking to me about Star Trek. I don’t know why he thought I’d want to talk about that. I was wearing my Star Wars shirt. I mean, different universe!

Boston, Massachusetts

My Way Of Telling You to Get a Cell Phone

Receptionist, answering phone: Good afternoon, how can I help you? (pause) I’m sorry, she no longer works at this office. (hangs up phone)
Receptionist to executive secretary: It was for you.

New York City, New York

Have Her Fax Us a Whole Box, Okay?

Boss to secretary: We’re out of paper? Hold on, I’ll call Julie and have her fax me a sheet and we can photo copy it.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: can’t say … I’m laughing to hard

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Exerpts from overheardintheoffice.com

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

I get a good laugh from the folks over at www.overheardintheoffice.com who send out a weekly digest.  The premise of the site is that people send in things that they heard in the office.  Most of these comments are very good, especially when taken out of context.

Have You Tried Looking Behind Your Monitor?

Employee: On this new printer I just installed, we can print double sided.
Crazy-haired boss lady: I don’t think I can.
Employee: No, we all can now.
Crazy-haired boss lady: Well, are things double sided on your screen? I don’t have anything that is double sided on my screen, so I can’t print double sided.

Merrillville, Indiana
Overheard by: CJ

Didn’t Mean to Imply I’d Be a Top.

Banker #1, sniffing air as banker #2 enters office: Damn, Jon*, what cologne are you wearing?
Banker #2: Calvin Klein.
Banker #1: That smells really good. Damn, if I was gay, I’d be all over you.
Banker #2: (puzzled silence)
Banker #1: Um, yeah, let’s forget I said that.

Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966

Do You Know Something I Don’t?

Associate: It’s my birthday today!
Receptionist: Oh, it’s my little sister’s birthday too, she’s turning one.
Associate: Oh, that’s cute. Is she your mum’s first child?

Sydney
Australia

Damnit– It Was a Carriage Seat Five Minutes Ago

Security guard in lobby: Ma’am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.

Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday

And More Besides

Doctor to inmate: So what are they accusing you of this time?
Inmate: Oh, they’re not accusing me, I did it.

County Jail Medical Office
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Molly

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