Posts Tagged ‘Prison Love’

The Stupidity of Bank Robbery when you are an Idiot

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

You would think that as a bank robber you would know about the dye packs that they can put into the bag as you are stealing money.  With this in mind, the experienced armed robber carefully watches the teller as she loads the ill-gotten gain into the bag, to making sure she doesn’t add in a free calendar or other goodies.

That is what you would expect.  Now when your bank robber is 13, I guess you have to give a little for lack of experience.   Fortunately due to his lack of experience this juvenile was caught 30 minutes later hiding in a garage trying to get off all of the red ink.

Hopefully, the courts will realise that this is the work of an adult and try him accordingly.  Of course the bleeding-heart left wing will say that it wasn’t his fault because his mother was a crack addict and his father abused cats.  They will then try to sue the bank for emotional trauma caused to the boy by the exploding red pack.  Seeking millions of dollars in compensation, the boy will never have to steal again.  Until he spends all of money on Pokemon and crack cocaine.

I know, my views are refreshing.  If you wanted a balanced opinion you would be reading Reuters.

Timmy out.

Stupidity Gone Too Far … Vive le Quebec!

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

Although the title may sound like I am about to start a political diatribe, I am not.  The situation I am about to describe occurs in Quebec, and may or may not occur in other jurisdictions.

Imagine your average convicted criminal behind bars in jail.  Now there are several things he can do to amuse himself.  Since this is Canada, we know very well that there is a good chance he has cable television and may even have a satellite feed.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he had better internet access than I do either.  Or, prison love aside, he can pass the time by working at one of several jobs which pays a tiny wage.  Now imagine that John Q. Convict is sweeping the floor, and slips on a puddle of (insert any liquid/bodily fluid desired) water.

What do you think happens?  Exactly!  He falls!  Now what happens if the fall is serious enough to injure himself or prevent him from working?  What’s that kids, did I hear, “He goes back into his cell”?  Well if that was your answer then you are wrong!  He collects worker compensation (or CSST as we call it in Quebec).

Now is it that I am really frickin’ stupid, or does there seem to be something inherently wrong with this.  And here is the kicker – they get TRIPLE THE FUCKING MONEY on workers comp.  Look, if you don’t believe me, and can read French, here is the reference.  Prison wage is $2.90/hour and when they go on CSST they get 90% of minimum wage which is $8.50.  This means that while an inmate is sitting in his cell scratching his ass his is getting paid $290/week until they get healed.  This equates to $15,000 a year.  OMFG.  This is wrong.  They should be working and they shouldn’t be getting paid as they are getting free room and board.

And before some lily livered liberal starts telling me that their (the convicts’) human rights are being violated by the mere fact that they are being incarcerated – stop.  Just shut up.  Stick your head back into reality for a few minutes, take a deep breath, hold it, keep on holding it, yep – keep on holding it…  Ok now that the freaks have all passed out I can continue for those of you intelligent enough not to be lily livered liberals and/or not doing everything I say.

Back to the idea at hand.  They have committed a crime and been found guilty thereof by a jury of their peers. (I would like to make a side note at this point that 12 people too stupid to get off of jury duty are definitely not my peers.)

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that the system is not totally screwed up and that most, if not all, of the people in jail deserve to be there – then why the fuck are we PAYING THEM?  It is very rare that I am so dumbfounde that I can’t even make a stupid comment.  This is one of those times, so…

Timmy Out

Australians are NOT Stupid

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

Why is it that whenever I come across a news story that makes me think, “Now there is someone with their head on straight”, it is in some way related to Australia and/or Australians.  Perhaps being in the Southern Hemisphere means that the bullshit of political correctness just doesn’t stick, or that they are just too sensible to be influenced by the left wing, mamby pamby way that we run our society.

In Canada, when a young offender (I am surprised we don’t call them age challenged criminals) commits a crime they generally get a very stern talking to, and some sort of menial punishment.  We can’t be too hard on them of course, because that may very well hurt their self-esteem, and as a society there is nothing we want less than criminals that don’t feel fully valued (anyone ever heard {en:Bloodhound Gang|The Bloodhound Gang’s} song “A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying”?).

In Australia – A 19 year-old is convicted of racing/reckless driving and given the following warning by the magistrate, “You’ll find big, ugly, hairy strong men (in jail) who’ve got faces only a mother could love that will pay a lot of attention to you — and your anatomy”.  Can you imagine that happening in North America?  The magistrate would have been hung, drawn and quartered.  He would have gotten shit from every side:

  • Youth protection
  • Drag racers union
  • Association of jail rapists
  • Association of prisoners’ right
  • The union of people with nothing better to do than complain
  • … and the list goes on.

In Australia the court had it right.  Tell the pretty boy that this is his last chance, or her was going to end up married to a big man named Bruce.  Hopefully that will give the lad some context and make him thing twice before doing something stupid with his car.  Hopefully he will not need too many years of counseling after being told a scary story by the big mean man on the bench.

Play nice,
Timmy out.